I have referenced my hiding sort of like a Hermit Crab. In understanding how I have been hiding, I want to understand the Hermit Crab a little more.
A Hermit Crab is a land or water dwelling crustacean. Not like the true crab, the Hermit has a soft vulnerable abdomen. In protection from its predators, many Hermit Crabs will seek out abandoned sea shells. When it finds the proper shell, it will pull itself inside leaving its legs and head outside of the shell. Hermits carry their shell wherever they go. When it out grows the shell, it will switch to a larger one. In determining which shell to move in to, they generally “Shop” for the perfect one. Once they find the one they like, they move right in.Hermit Crabs usually live on the seashore, in tide pools, and on the sea bottom in deeper water. They scavenge for their food.
In comparison, I am like the hermit crab! I am not a crustacean, but much like the Hermit, I too have a soft vulnerable abdomen and for my protection, I moved in to an invisible shell to hide from my predators. Just like the hermit I created a perfect shell for my protection. I too have been a scavenger; feeding myself on dead matter by having continuous negative thoughts, creating illusions, making up stories, and suffering on past experiences that in this moment, are dead and gone.
I have grown tremendously spiritually and mentally and the shell that I have been living in is TIGHT and HEAVY to carry and has not always been the greatest looking shell, either. It has weighed me down physically. I have out grown my Shell.
Now that I am HONEST with myself in what I have been doing, I realize that being a hermit SERVED me. It SERVED me VERY WELL, in the PAST.
In my experiences with Life, I have learned that I am Energy and everything around me is Energy too. For a long time, I have ABSORBED ENERGY that did not belong to me by taking on others emotions, comparing myself to others, not minding my own business, listening and trusting others instead of listening and trusting GOD and myself and believing that I was separate from everything.
In ALL, I have SUCCEEDED in being the HERMIT but in all actuality, I am not a hermit. I am a SPIRITUAL BEING having a HUMAN EXPERIENCE. I am a UNIQUE EXPRESSION of our LOVING CREATOR meant to have DIVINE PURPOSE, LOVE, CREATION, and ALL THAT IS GOOD in my human experience.
The WORK that I am committing myself to doing is not new to me. I created excuses of not taking responsibility in how I created my life. However I also have overcome GREAT obstacles and have learned very valuable lessons and picked up many tools along my path to help me get where I am destined to go and am certain I will pick up many more in my travels. But picking up tools does nothing for you, if you don’t learn how to USE THEM and USE THEM. A Captain cannot lead his vessel in the sea without proper knowledge and education.
LEARNING about who I AM, I have to start back from the beginning. Meaning going back to ALL my experiences from the past and FORGIVING MYSELF and FORGIVING OTHERS in realizing that I made the best choices with the tools that were given to me at that time and completely releasing anyone whom I CREATED A NEGATIVE ILLUSIONS and LETTING GO of it. Once we let go of things that no longer serve us, we have no right to go back to the grave and dig it up. Once something has been buried, it needs to stay there for nature to take its course.
Being the BEST ME living authentically with integrity is a continuous work in progress. Today I see myself in a whole new perspective. No longer the crying newborn, I am the toddler learning to how to walk. This time I choose to walk in the path of LOVE and LIGHT no longer afraid to come out of my shell.